Vitamin C is Good For Scurvy!

Breaking the Silence

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 06:10:39 GMT

Well, it started with my computer getting a crazy wonky virus that spoke in a British accent. This kept me off the computer for a few weeks, but once it was fixed, I really had no desire to deal with the built-up madness in my mailboxes. My sister has moved out! (insert leaping and whooping and other ridiculous acts depicting joyous victory) I love her dearly, but she is absolutely impossible to live with, and I am still attempting to rid her old room of the funk.

Quite a few things have happened while I was enjoying my silence. I discovered some new favorite bands, rediscovered some old favorite bands, and bought a few new albums.

New Bands:
~Hermano
~Unida
~Morphine
~Echo and the Bunnymen
~Love and Rockets
~Paradise Lost
~The Chameleons
~The Creatures
~The Cult
~Dalis Car
~Fireball Ministry
~The Jesus and Mary Chain
~L7
~Yoav

New Albums:
~Depeche Mode
~Tori Amos
~Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Love each and every one of them. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs have calmed down quite a bit (in a good way, not a boring one), Depeche Mode has combined everything they've ever done and made it orgasmically better, and Tori's new album is nothing short of miraculous. She's on tour, and I'm going to see FOUR shows!!!!! For those of you thinking that four shows is fanatical overkill... you're a little right, but unlike the pathetically limited, generic, people-pleasing posers infesting the musical industry, Tori never does anything the same way twice. She has a few songs she will do at each show, but that's it. She also covers new songs at each show (often upon request), and will even make up a song right there on the stage. So, yeah, driving a total of 34+ hours over the span of 5 days, staying in a new state every night, and waiting four hours before each show on the off chance that she comes out to greet us is so totally worth it. Plus, while we haven't gotten our tickets for Atlanta yet, every single show will be enjoyed from the 6th row or better!

On a much more serious note, I have been doing some intense soul-searching, and discovered quite a few things about myself, what I believe, and what I will never even begin to understand:

~I sick and tired of people's knee-jerk reactions to subjects/ideas/religions of which they know little or nothing, and are perfectly comfortable with forming permanent conclusions with the fragmented information they have received second-hand.

~I am blown away at the behavior of Christians all throughout history. If one were to read the Bible, which I am currently attempting to do, they would see that it is not meant to be taken literally. For example: The Pharisees. They lived by the law, literally, and Jesus told them they were sticks in the mud.

~I'd like to set something straight on Christianity. The whole male-domination thing is not ordained by God. The verse in which God punishes Eve for eating the fruity knowledge, if taken the way I'm convinced it was meant to be taken, does not mean that a woman's husband will consciously rule over her. Basically, it goes something like, "Blah, blah, painful childbirth, more blah, and your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." Now, if God wanted men to dominate their wives, He would have told them to, but He didn't. He told Eve specifically that her husband would rule over her. It means that she will need him, be dependent upon him, and he will rule over her mind. This explains why so many women are such idiots when it comes to men. It explains why they will completely abandon childhood friends for men who treat them like crap. It explains why they are unwilling to leave toxic relationships that they complain about all the time, and seem utterly miserable in.

That's not all, folks, but it's all for now.

A Large Factor In America's Problem

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 23:24:37 GMT

Education.

People spend years focusing on one thing at the expense of everything else. Including, and especially, common sense. Then, they get their wonderful, money-grubbing job, and throw everything into it, so they can be rich and respected by their fellow educated idiots. They go to work, focus for eight plus hours, interrupted only by the need to eat or use the restroom. At the end of the day, as soon as they walk out that door, they check out. They drive like imbeciles, completely neglect their personal lives, explode at defenseless waitstaff in expensive restaurants, and operate totally and completely in a state of reaction, never thinking before acting. And they think they spent all those years and money getting smarter? No! They just specialized. If they were hunting cats, it would be as if they grew their claws to such an enormous degree and lost the ability to run.

Obviously, there are exceptions to every rule. My husband, an amazing individual, does check out after work. However, unless he is extremely rest broken, he operates at an elevated level of consciousness. He thinks on a regular basis, in fact, and I love him dearly. I do know for a fact, though, that someone like Jeremy is precious and very rare. I wish folks would place education into a better perspective, and stop putting so much damned emphasis on it.

A Friend of Mine Wrote This

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 00:15:59 GMT

It's good for a laugh, even if you aren't privy to the inside jokes.

The night before Christmas: Sasebo version

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ‘Bo
Not a creature was stirring, no even a ho’.
The guitars were strung in Rogiq with care
In hopes that “The Materials” soon would be there

The Essex were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of snack-bar girls danced in their heads
And Mamma-San fried her gyozo for sailors in caps
Whilst Betsy in Gramophones settled down for a nap

When out in the arcade there arose such a clatter
I stumbled up from my seat to see what was the matter
Away from the bar I flew like a flash
Until I stuck to the floor where a drink has just smashed

The moon, on the breast of a woman I don’t know
Gave the lustre of the of the mid-day to the objects below
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a miniature Taka and eight Rogiq reindeer

With some really ugly sailors, not lively or bright
I knew in a moment they were to blame for the fight
More rapid than eagles, Shore Patrol, they came
And whistled and shouted, it was the “Three Wise Men”
to blame.

Now Jose! Now J.B! Now J.D and coke
All of them lethal when chased by a smoke
“To the top of the town, out went the call
For a brawl in the street and a piss against a wall.

And then in a twinkling I heard on the stage
The prancing a strutting of a gay-pride parade
As I drew in my head and was turning around
Jacksea jumped off the bar with a leap and a bound

He was dressed all in brown fur from his head to his feet
And his hair was all wild like it’d never been neat
A fender guitar he’d flung on his back
He looked like a rock-god but minus the addiction to smack

And Ryo was smiling, a right jolly old elf
I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself
Taka’s wink of an eye and flick of his hair
Soon gave me to know there was no Nagasausage down there!

Naoki spoke not a word but went straight to his work
And mixed his friends drinks so strong it’d cause them to jerk
And laying his finger on the camera button
He took another picture of some lamb dressed as mutton

The Materials sprang to their stage to finish their music
And Gela spent all her money, before she could lose it
But I heard her exclaim to Nao-chan and Gill
“I could do better, and next time I will”.

'Cause I'm Bored...

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 14:26:10 GMT

Some of my favorite artists. They never make vidoes for my favorite songs, so I've settled for these...

Tori Amos, Jackie's Strength:

Sublime, Badfish (I could never pick my favorite song):

Concrete Blonde, Joey:

Type O Negative, Love You To Death (and no, that's not an optical illusion, he really is that tall):

Switchblade Symphony, Dissolve (ok, not a real music video, but it's my favorite song, and the pictures are actually pretty cool):

Danzig, Devil's Plaything (amazingly enough, this is my favorite song):

Portishead, Glory Box (not the real video, but the selfish punk who put the real one up won't let people embed the darned thing... this one's cute, interesting, and I could swear the person I bonded with over Dead Can Dance posted this video a while ago):

Morcheeba, Wonders Never Cease:

Interesting tidbit, New Order wrote this song, Blue Monday:

But, you've probably heard Orgy's cover of it:

Rasputina, Rats (they actually played it on TV?!):

The Gathering, Leaves (I am in absolute awe of this woman):

Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Date With the Night (the only music video they'd let me embed... selfish punks):

Poe, Angry Johnny:

Cocteau Twins, Ivo:

What, were you expecting more?

The Devil Made Me Do It

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 13:49:12 GMT

I am so drawing on my (probably) already negative karma account, but my fingers just won't stop...

People Age Like Wine?

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 17:13:29 GMT

I feel like a bystander in my own life. I'm watching as I become a parody of myself, and like the proverbial wreck, I'm unable to look away, slow down, or change direction. My mom used to (and continues at a steadily increasing rate) say, "It's always feast or famine with you." Now, writing my second post in a 24 hour period, I have to admit that she was actually right... about a lot of things. So, if I were a wine, and if this trait were a juniper berry, I would now be gin.

My Box

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 05:06:06 GMT

One of my livejournal friends posted this, and I loved it. So here's mine...

So, say you were meeting a new person--blind date, new friend, who knows. And you wanted them to have some idea of what kind of person you are, and who you are. But you can't actually tell them in so many words.

Instead, you have to give them a box, with a dozen things in it for them to look at/read/listen to/taste/whatever. What would you put in the box?

~A pair of striped toe socks
~The entire contents of my iPod on as many discs as it would take
~A lock of my curly red hair
~A bag of coffee with my special blend of spices mixed in (cinnamon, cardamom, clove, and orange peel)
~A dish of Sag Aloo curry with coconut naan and real chai
~My tattered copy of The Female Brain
~Copies of the Bible, The Ark of Millions of Years, The History of Magic, and The Necronomicon
~My four-year-old-and-counting pair of Uggs:

http://cgi.ebay.com/UGG-UPTOWN-TALL-BOOTS-BLACK-SIZE-WOMENS-7_W0QQitemZ360112512428QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUS_Women_s_Shoes?hash=item360112512428&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=72%3A1205%7C66%3A2%7C65%3A12%7C39%3A1%7C240%3A1318%7C301%3A1%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50

~My whip
~My staple spaghetti strap tank tops with built-in shelf bra
~A zip-up hoodie with pockets--they have to have pockets
~A picture of my husband

For those of you wondering, yes, pun intended.

Forgive Me, But...

Tue, 25 Nov 2008 09:11:29 GMT

I know the internet is ridiculous as far as the time spent on spelling and the formulation of sentences and such, but this blew my mind.

okay werid questoion:
I get darry cravings, majorly. In particular milk. I drink a ton of it as a result. I usualy =drink two precrent but sometimes whole. I always find whole milk more satisfiy but didn't put 2 and 2 together till just now

i bought unhomogizined milk.

I shake it but naturaly there are stil clumps, it dosn't phase me. I drink i had acup with a particualrly large chunk i ate the cunk and my body was like "THIS is what we want."

so i ask is there something spesificly in milk fat that isn't in skim? is that where the vitimins are?

also, why does unhomgnized milk taste better?

The end.

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 07:39:36 GMT

Please give me the strength to bear this burden, the wisdom to keep it to myself, and the selfless love I so desperately need to keep from lashing out in my pain at he who so heartlessly wounded me. Please.

You Can Keep Your Fluff

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 04:02:10 GMT

When confronted with the possibility of a new relationship, I push boundaries. Of course, right now, I am only interested in possible friendships. Even so, I constantly feel the need to maneuver around bullshit in order to reach how people truly operate. I'm not interested in what is appropriate according to the proverbial "them." Thing is, there are so many "them"s available now. Veganism, Greenism, Religionism, Spiritualism, Fashionism, the list just goes. Each "ism" has its own set of appropriate behavior, and bits of each coincide and contradict at random. I don't give a flying crap about the fluff. When you get down to it, each "ism" really does have the right idea, if you dispose of the fluff. The ideas don't contradict, and they're often capable of coexisting. If you were to simply avoid animal cruelty, earth cruelty, people cruelty, and opinion cruelty, everyone would probably discover an incredible decrease in the effort it takes to exist alongside those with supposed opposite beliefs.

You can keep your fluff.

So, when I meet someone new, I will often inadvertently piss them off trying to get at the real person. So many people are uncomfortable with the real thing. There was this one episode of Sex and the City where Miranda finds a spanking porno in a new guy's drawer. When she brings it to his attention, he skulks off and never calls her again. Why?!? That's what he liked. So what? Own it. That's what I mean. Yeah, I want you to be uncomfortable with being uncomfortable. I'll dig, and I won't let up. If you aren't interested in owning who you are, then I'm really not very interested in what you have to offer. Once again, you can keep your fluff. I want the real shit. Ugly, angry, dark, dirty shit. That's what I'm after. Life is just too damned short to be focused on crap that, when you're on your death bed, you won't even be thinking about. I want to die knowing that, yeah, maybe I never got around to sky diving, but I sure as hell loved. And I was loved back. Mt. Everest doesn't have shit on family. Success is peanuts next to being able to call up my mom, or dad, or friend, or whoever and just talk, or not talk, and knowing that my last words were not something awful like, "I hate you." I don't think I've ever even said those words. Ever.

I would rather think back on a situation wishing I had said something, than wishing I could take something back.

Understanding My Polarity

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 06:26:35 GMT

I've been doing quite a bit of pondering lately, and decided to be brutally honest with myself. I made a list of strengths, weaknesses, and their respective polarities. I tried to be as objective as possible, and knowing that each attribute would have a rebuttal made doing so just a little easier. So, here goes:

Weakness
~Pride - Confidence
~Stubborn - I won't give up
~Obsessive attention to detail - I care, I pay attention
~Intolerant of weakness - I see potential, and expect more
~Temper - I stand up for myself
~Seek approval - I want others to be happy
~Resent authority - I think outside the box
~Bossy/dominant - Strong personality
~Cynicism - I'm careful, cautious

Strength
~Self-analytical - Lean towards self-centeredness and self-indulgence
~Individuality - Sometimes at others' expense
~Hopeful - Naive
~Appreciate the moment - Can live in the moment without regard for the future
~Not judgmental - Enabling
~Charismatic - Manipulative
~Smart - Snobby
~Caring - Vulnerable
~Loyal - Sometimes at my own expense
~Open-minded - Can seem wishy-washy or fickle

Some of those really go back and forth often enough to have been put under both headings. Often, when I go into my self-improvement-obsession phases, my focus on myself becomes selfish. While I do consider that a necessary evil, I know good and damned well that I would hate it if someone else put themselves before me. I try to do my indulgent soul-searching in concentrated doses, when I am alone. I would be such a stinking hypocrite if I were to close myself off to those I love, then demand that they pay attention to me when I want them to. That's just unreasonable. I want to be a pleasant person to live with. I want my husband to enjoy my presence more often than not. I know that I will be awful at times, but I want to be able to warn him. I've come pretty far. I can recognize fairly early when I'm PMSing. When I'm in this state, and Husband starts to talk... incessantly... I'll give him a "look" and say, "I'm PMSing." He gets it, and will usually come back with something like, "Translation: 'You're talking too damned much. You need to shut up, or I'm gonna cut your face off.'" And he's right, but I didn't have to say it, and everyone's safe and happy.

I don't think guys really understand the intensity of PMS. I'll be walking, perpetually angry. Not, the kind of anger one experiences in an acute phase, but a low-level animosity that is constantly being redirected at anything that pisses one off. Someone laughs, and it just grates raw nerve endings. The back of someone's head just begs to be back-handed. My improperly-made steaming hot beverage becomes a very tempting projectile to be lobbed at the idiot who screwed it up. Smiles make me wince. Being polite is painful. Children should be muzzled and put on leashes. Vapid imbeciles should be banished from self-checkout lanes. Do not provide me with any weapons of mass destruction at this time, because I will use it. Then, I will cry. I will cry until my eyes fall out, because I am horrible, ugly, and will never amount to anything. Then, I will want nothing more than to screw your brains out, because I am the Queen of Sex. Then, while you doze in the aftermath, I will plot your slow, painful death in undetectable ways. And, when all is said and done, I will look back and say, "I need to avoid all human contact when I'm like that."

The Strength In Weakness

Thu, 23 Oct 2008 16:12:19 GMT

I am alive. I live. Therefore, I can only understand things that have a beginning and an end. Polarity. I see it in everything. Every blessing has the potential to become a curse. Every strength can atrophy. Every good thing, if misunderstood, can be seen as harmful. Hope's shadow twin is naivete. Strength, whether physical or mental, can be twisted into violence and abuse. Sympathy and understanding can devolve into enablement.

Six years ago, I commenced a journey into my darker self. I wanted to understand what I could be, devoid of a lighter side. Six years ago, I operated almost completely from my Id. Sex, anger, bitterness, suspicious, doubtful, all of these and more, hidden in a charismatic shell. I had reached a crucial fork in the road of my emotional maturation. I could have continued simply reacting to my environment, growing more and more detached from myself and my inner workings. I could have become hateful, full of rage just under the surface. I was almost there. I scared myself. What I was capable of doing without remorse. Six years ago, I could have become evil. I sat down at that fork, unable to move in any direction. I was on my own. My parents were thousands of miles away, and I had to make this decision for myself. I decided not to make a decision, but to conduct an experiment. I wanted to know where this anger was coming from. I wanted to know if I could change my reaction in just one area. I wanted to see where the other path led.

Instead of attempting to move the mountain that was my shadow box, I waited. I waited for the first shadow to show itself. When it did, I studied it. Its history. Its lighter side. Its hold over me and the way I operated. Its desires. I studied that shadow as if my life depended on the answer it would give me. To be accurate, my quality of life did depend on the answer. When I found this shadow's source, I was able to understand why I allowed it to become dark, and I was able to change the way I looked at it. When this shadow appeared again, I was able to wrestle it down. The next time, wrestling this shadow was a tiny bit easier. Again, and again, putting this shadow away became easier. Until one day, it was not a shadow that appeared, but its polar twin. Its light. Its strength. My strength. So, I waited again. For the next shadow. And again. For the next one. Each time it was easier. Until I realized that I was walking, and not waiting at the fork.

I still struggle often with my strengths and their shadow selves. But I know them, now. I know their history. I know where they began, and how to wrestle them down. I continue discovering more shadows, but watching them has become natural, instinctual. I embrace that which makes me human. That which makes me weak. That which makes me strong. I embrace it all, because it is all a part of me. With each shadow found, watched, wrestled, I become more whole. I embrace my polarity, because I have a beginning and an end.

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 01:48:28 GMT

The ingredients list and involvement level of this recipe is rather comprehensive. I'm one of those, "throw whatever's going bad into a pot" soup-makers, which is probably how they got started anyway. So, feel free to ignore whatever you don't have/feel like doing, as this soup is a product of my tastes and available ingredients. :) This also makes almost a gallon of soup (not kidding), three quarters of which I have already frozen. I was a little frazzled when I made this, and in my slightly over-zealous, though well-intended efforts, I went a little nuts.

The involvement level is really only because I like a multi-leveled complexity of taste and texture. It will turn out just fine if you were to throw everything into a pot or slow-cooker, and leave it alone.

Fresh Ingredients:
~1 roughly chopped onion (whatever your choice is, or whatever you have)
~4 big cloves or 6 small cloves of garlic roughly chopped
~1 1/2 cups sliced mushrooms
~2 bell peppers-halved and roughly chopped (I used one red and one yellow)
~3/4-1 cup cranberries
~Sage

Frozen Ingredients:
~About 15 broccoli florets of varying sizes (I just kept adding 'til I was happy)
~1-2 cups spinach (also just kept adding 'til I was happy)
~2 broth cubes or 1/2 cup broth

Canned Ingredients:
~1 can pumpkin - 29 oz.
~1 can whole tomatoes - 28 oz.

Spices/Flavoring Agents:
~Black and red pepper to taste
~Cumin to taste in 1 tsp increments
~1 tbsp Turmeric
~Curry to taste in 1 tsp increments
~Chipotle to taste in tiny pinch increments
~Cocoa powder to taste in 1 tsp increments
~Cardamom to taste in 1/4 tsp increments
~Nutritional Yeast to taste in 2 tbsp increments
~4 tbsp Molasses (Blackstrap is best-unless you want a sweeter soup)

Other Ingredients:
~Olive Oil
~Red Wine
~Uncooked polenta
~1-2 cups pine nuts
~1/2 cup Veggie juice
~1/4 cup Carrot juice

In a large stock pot, warm a bit of olive oil over medium heat for two minutes. Add onion and some crushed black pepper. Stir occasionally until the onion starts to go translucent. Add the mushrooms, and sprinkle some red wine over them. Add two cloves of garlic, and some sage (2 leaves and the stalk). After 3-5 minutes, add the tomatoes with liquid, refill can with water, and add. Return to mild boil/simmer. After two minutes, add the cranberries, half of each bell pepper, one more clove of garlic, the broth cubes, and some more sage. Return to mild boil/simmer. After at least five minutes, add the turmeric, molasses and one increment of each spice/flavoring agent. After two minutes, taste. Tasting is the most important part of making wonderful dishes. If it's not hot enough, add more red pepper. If you want more smoky flavor, add more chipotle. Smell the spices, then taste, and that will help you decided whether or not to add more. At this point, the soup will have a very tangy/top flavor and not much of a deep/bottom flavor. Don't worry. Once the remaining ingredients have been added, and the soup has simmered for a bit, you'll notice the flavor come together. Once you like where the spice/flavoring agents have taken the soup, add the pine nuts and a good handful of the polenta. Every minute of continued simmering will bring different flavors forward. Adding the polenta in staggered intervals captures some of these as it absorbs during the cooking process. Wait 2-5 minutes between adding two more handfuls of polenta. After 5-10 minutes of simmering, add the broccoli and the remaining halves of bell pepper. Simmer for another 5-10 minutes, then add the spinach, pumpkin, and more sage. Once you've gotten the pumpkin to dissolve into the soup, lower temperature to lowest setting, cover loosely, and let marinate for at least 15 minutes. Keep tasting every now and again, and add spices/flavoring agents as you see fit. Add the veggie and carrot juices, and make final adjustments in flavor. Let people add salt to their own bowls when you serve. The cranberries were more than enough for me, but some would not enjoy it as is.

A lot of these ingredients (veggie & carrot juices, bell peppers, pine nuts, sage...) were not being consumed fast enough, so they were thrown in. This soup was so delicious, satisfying, and filling, that half a bowl was plenty! Blame the polenta and pine nuts, I suppose. This much more of an outline of a great soup than a recipe you should follow to a T. But it was so wonderful, and it actually did make me feel better, so I wanted to share.

A Little Bit of Everything

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 12:58:39 GMT

I have come to believe that my purpose for being here on this earth, as of late, is to produce copious amounts of mucous. I have no shame. I am beyond it, now. I'm sitting here with tissues stuffed up my nose, so I don't have to blow it one more bloody flippin' time!

On a slightly different note, I watched an amazingly beautiful sunrise this morning. Er. Well, I didn't watch the sun rise, as it was behind me. However, comma, I watched a depressingly greenish sky oh-so-gradually shift to pale blue. Trees, houses, and the sky all took on that "7 o'clock Blues" shade, as my husband calls it. Then the sun took a quick peek at the world and, just like that, all of the changing leaves took on unbelievably vibrant hues. You know how, when it's kinda gloomy, red, yellow, and orange colors sort of brace their shoulders and stand a bit taller while everything else mopes around? This happened today. The green muck clouds I had been eying warily decided they wanted to wear pink, instead. It was amazing.

On yet another note, I just recently decided to embark on a journey into the mysterious land of making things yourself. I am probably in the top 25% of people with sensitive skin, worldwide. I'm not kidding. I got a cheapo necklace one time, because it was actually pretty nifty. When I woke up the morning after wearing it, however, there was a bright red, itchy, hot rash in the exact shape of the necklace around my neck. So. Because of this, I started making my own beauty product. Pretty awesome, actually. No more store-bought crap that doesn't smell quite right, stops working after two weeks, or worst of all, gets discontinued the moment you fall in love with it. Grrrr. I really hated Bath and Body Works for that. I never bought their brand, but they had some sinfully delicious smelling things making guest appearances there. After the fifth item I had fallen in love with got discontinued (not kidding, either), I decided to discontinue Bath and Body Works.

But wait. My adventures in the land of Making Things do not stop here. I have a bit of the "pack rat" gene in me, so I'm constantly saying things like, "Don't throw that away!! You never know when we might need one!" This gene has earned me (among other things) a sinister mountain of cardboard boxes from our move that I just couldn't bring myself to recycle. Every time I pass that mountain, I think to myself, "I need to do something with those things." Nothing happens. They just sit there. Until a few days ago. My product-making supplies were halfway to complete domination of our dining area when I finally admitted to myself that I needed a good little set of drawers. The ones made of wood type materials were $60, and you had to do all the work by putting the stupid thing together yourself. Nope. I'm trying to steer away from plastic, but if the price is significantly lower, I'm all over it. But it wasn't significantly lower! Is this because it was all put together?? *grumbles* Sorry, I'm not gonna pay $5 for something that A) cost about 5 cents to make, and B) wouldn't fit a can of tomato paste in it. The problem plagued me after I'd come to the conclusion that there was no way in H E double hockey stick would I pay people to over-charge me that ridiculously. Making Things has always interested me, having a slightly independent nature and all. So my mind inevitably drifted to that mountain of boxes. And that's all she wrote. My sister helped me make my set of drawers for all my product paraphernalia, then I made a solo mission with the goal of organizing my pantry.

I have a love-hate relationship with pantries. They provide much-needed storage space for the kitchen, and a lot of it. You can never find anything in them, though. They usually consist of four or five evenly spaced shelves, and those stupid, annoying little doo-dads that hang off the front of some of them. There is no love in my relationship with the doo-dads. They're like smudge on your sunglasses. You always forget to clean them, until you're driving while the sun is trying to singe the back of your head through your eyeballs. Grrr. Anyway, everything is at the same level on their respective shelves. So, unless you memorize exactly where you put everything, you end up rummaging for frustrating amounts of time (pantries were supposed to make things easier, weren't they?) while the people who put their faith in you to provide them with food begin to exibit signs of mutiny. So, I made drawers and labeled them.

Next up: fly swatter (everyone needs one of these, and I figured hey, while I'm at it... ), household cleaning tool belt (I'm trying to figure out how I would go about installing an attack dog that barks viciously and slobbers (no biting. Frustrating as they can be, I do love them) all over whoever it is in our house that uses all but one stinking sheet of toilet paper, and leaves it for the next person to change!!!! Or eats all but one leaf of lettuce, and puts it back in the fridge. I'm not kidding.), a bookshelf (once the skin on my hands returns, cardboard is a nasty bitch when it wants to be), and a few other things I can't think of right now. Oh yeah. Some way to render my black couch lavender without the use of a slipcover, thank you very much. Slipcovers are just... not my style. At all. Period. I think I may have to take a few pictures and ask the folks over in the natural community if they have any ideas.

Just got a new essential oil. I don't know if any description would do it justice. It smells like hot, melted dark chocolate with syrup made from an exotic Hawaiian cousin of pomegranate, spending a night lost in an Arabic market, and everything a woman could ever want sex to be. I'm not going to ruin this by making a crack on men. :) I was taking a chance when I ordered this oil. It was $40 for half an ounce. But an oil that smells like all that doesn't even need the added bonus of requiring about 1/4 the amount of oil normally called for. The description said it was an aphrodisiac, but that doesn't quite cut it. I've been cleaning the house with heightened senses, walking more slowly, drinking in sights, and breathing emotions. It made me write this post, for cryin' in the rain! Davana.

Anne Frank: Tell Me We Haven't Forgotten

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 06:54:16 GMT

Anne Frank. Why don't we hear about her more? Why is this world that has so much at it's fingertips complaining? Why is it that, when someone genuinely has cause to feel sorry for one's self, they don't? Turning that around, why is it that, when one's life is relatively unomplicated, they search for ways to obtain pity?

"It's difficult in times like these: ideals, dreams and cherished hopes rise within us, only to be crushed by grim reality. It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart."

She said this during a terrible time, when people's goodness at heart was extrememly questionable. My pitiful attempts at hope and optimism pale in comparison. Among a handful of others, Anne Frank is an example I desperately strive to honor.

HmmHmm Yup

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 21:40:18 GMT

If you're on my friends list, I want to know 36 things about you. I don't care if we never talk, or if we already know everything about each other. Short and sweet is fine... you're on my list, so I want to know you better!

Comment here and repost a blank one on your own journal.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you

Question Everything

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 05:22:37 GMT

My parents raised my sister and me in a very fundamentally christian home. So, naturally, I became an anti-theist for a while. ;) After a while, though, I realized that I was simply on the other end of the same spectrum I claimed to despise. Allow me to pick apart the religion I know better than the back of my hand...

WWJD - Just writing that brought bile to the back of my throat, but anyway. If one were to delve into this with a completely unbiased and open mind (I feel like I may have reached homeostasis in this, as I've been on both extremes, and am now attempting to find an un-extreme), one would observe these things from the written bible: commandments, red lettering (Jesus' words), and an outline for a good christian way of living. One would observe from new findings and history: people wrote the bible, not God; people fuck everything up, especially when things are going well; because of the vast number of time the bible has been edited, it should not be taken word for word; and there is no possible way to know anything definitively ever. period. end. Therefore, an un-fanatical point of view (in either direction) on the christian religion would be something like: the bible teaches great concepts, and I'd benefit from applying those concepts to my life in a way that is appropriate with the times. Among quite a few other things, but that would take forever. The point I'm trying to stress is that christians today, and most always have gotten lost in the rules and words, missing what really matters: the concept. If any christian were to dissect the WWJD concept by stepping back and thinking about how Jesus of the bible led his life, their little righteous bubble would be obliterated. J hung out with hoes, outcasts, homeless folks, and general miscreants. So who would he be hanging out with today? Hoes, outcasts, homeless folks, and general miscreants. The Pharisees (the christians who got lost in the rules and words back then) were really uncomfortable with J. He rattled their righteous little bubbles every time he opened his mouth. So, what would Jesus do? I could never begin to say. But, I know for damned sure he wouldn't refuse to talk to someone because of life decisions. Nor would he encourage people to stop thinking for themselves and take some book as the answer for everything.

This directly correlates (in my mind, anyway) to the over-educating of people nowadays. The more we are educated, the less we know how to think for ourselves. Have you noticed how people who've been through years of college have a ridiculously compromised helping of common sense?

I'm really trying not to be "anti-" at all. I feel like that would make me a hypocrite. The thing I am most uncomfortable with, concerning christianity is their propensity to ostracize anything that doesn't allow for neat packaging and labeling. I want to question everything, even my reason for questioning. If I am open to the concepts of Buddha, Wicca, Shadow work, and magic, why on earth wouldn't I be open to the concept of God? Isn't that just being on the other side of the same mirror? I don't want anything to do with that mirror. I want to think for myself, and I don't want the unsavory actions of the modern day christian to dictate how I feel about the religion. That gives them control over me. I don't want how the modern non-christian feels about the fanaticism of christians to dictate how I feel, either.

There are too many unknowns. There is no way I can definitively say anything. I'm comfortable with that. I'm comfortable with not understanding what's going to happen after I die. I've questioned that concept enough. I don't appreciate other people's opinions being foisted upon me. Therefore, I'm not gonna foist my opinions on other people. However, I love it when people question my opinions. It sheds light on areas I may not have examined. Therefore, I will question opinions when they are presented. I'm familiar with many concepts and beliefs, so I can recognize a parroted response. I ignore these. I want to hear what someone truly thinks, not what is drilled into their head day in and day out. Is there anyone out there who does not have one-dimensional beliefs? Who doesn't shut down at the mention of the wrong deity?

Hair Stuff

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 19:49:36 GMT

Well, I've made the perfect hair wax for curly hair. I'm now attempting to come up with a natural hair spray. Two people asked me about my stuff I'm making. Strangers. I'm wondering if I should make some cards, or something. Hmm...

The Dinner Menu... and More Products

Sun, 14 Sep 2008 07:41:00 GMT

For dinner tonight, we had whole trout (I saved the heads and tails for broth in the near future) in my trusty mix of sea salt, pepper, and garlic powder, steamed asparagus with garlic butter (or Earth Balance), golden beets with a cinnamon maple butter sauce, and Whole Foods' chocolate chewies for dessert.

I finally finished drying the rest of my coffee grounds for the scrubs I'm sending to friends. I made two new things: face mask and facial moisturizer.

Mask:

~3 tablespoons pumpkin puree
~2 tablespoons Fuller's Earth clay
~1 tablespoon honey
~1 tablespoon water
~2 vitamin E capsules

Mix, wash your face, apply, rinse when you can't move your face anymore. My sister had some irritation on her face, and when she rinsed the mask off, she discovered the drawing power of a good mask! I'm going to make a new tea with calandula, chamomile, comfrey, peppermint, and kelp powder, and use that instead of the water.

Facial Moisturizer:

~1 & 1/2 tablespoons aloe goo
~1 tablespoon coconut oil
~1 tablespoon mango butter
~1 tablespoon honey
~1 teaspoon wax
~1 teaspoon calandula infused oil
~tea trea and lavender essential oils

I put the aloe, calandula oil, essential oils and honey in a glass that just fit my stick blender, melted the other things together, and mixed. It works wonders. I've noticed that using oil as my moisturizer has actually lessened the oil on my face. Pretty wild.

A List of Recipes

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 23:42:41 GMT

I've already shared the face wash, so here are recipes for deodorant balm, hair wax, and coffee scrub. :-)

Deodorant:

~3 & 1/2 tablespoons oil (I used apricot kernel, it's better for sensitive skin)
~3 tablespoons 100% mineral saline solution (see directions below)
~2 tablespoons each baking soda and arrowroot powder (or cornstarch)
~1 tablespoon wax flakes
~10 shakes of lemon oil (however many drops that may be)
~3-5 shakes lavender oil

Fill your blender or bowl that you will be blending in with hot water, and heat up the saline solution to boiling. Set aside. In a double boiler over low to medium low heat, melt the wax flakes into the apricot kernel oil. When half of the wax is melted, pour the hot water out of the blender/bowl, add the salt water, and the essential oil. When the wax is completely melted, add the soda and arrowroot, stirring until the wax has re-melted. (The wax I'm using is obnoxious, and hardens when you merely think about adding something colder, hence the hot water in the blender/bowl and all that mess) Turn on the blender/stick blender, and slowly add the contents of the pot to the saline and essential oil. Make sure you scrape the sides, and poof! You're done. You'll want to get it out of the blender while it's still warm, otherwise you'll spend hours scraping wax film off your stuff.

For application, take about a pea- to lima bean-sized amount, and rub it in. It won't rub well into a bunch of hair, like man-pits, so dot a bit on the skin around the hair, then rub it inward.

Why these ingredients? You already know the reasoning behind apricot kernel oil, but the mineral solution came from a bit of research. After checking out all the natural crystal deodorants, I discovered that they're made of solid mineral salt. Baking soda deodorizes. Arrowroot powder absorbs moisture, and lends a bit of protection against the abrasive nature of baking soda. The wax made for an easier application, as well as keeping the deodorant in your pits. Lemon and lavender kill the bacteria that form in your pits to make the funk, plus they smell really good together.

How to make 100% saline solution:

~Water
~Mineral salt

Bring water to just about boiling point. When little tiny bubbles form over the entire bottom of the pot, turn off the heat. Add the salt , stirring after each spoonful. When the salt won't dissolve anymore, wait a minute, stir again. If the salt still won't dissolve, you're done. If it does dissolve, keep adding more until it doesn't. It's important to get a pure salt with as high a mineral content as you can find, as that's the main deodorizing bit. Regular salt won't work nearly as well.

Hair wax:

This one was pretty uncomplicated. I just put a bunch of oils and butters in a pot, added wax, and then when it was melted, turned off the heat and added geranium and clove oil. This happened when I first got a Mountain Rose shipment, and went mad-scientist-without-measuring-cups.

Coffee Scrub:

~Used coffee grounds (just take the grounds, rinse them in a fine mesh sieve, spread them out on a cookie sheet, and dry them over night)
~Oils and butters of choice (you just want enough to get all the grounds wet with a little extra)

~When you're ready to use the scrub, mix 1 part each scrub mixture, and plain yogurt.

Put the dry grounds in the jar you'll be storing it in. Heat the oils and butters until melted, and pour over the grounds. Stir. I don't bother with smelly oils, because the coffee smell kind of drowns everything else out. Plus, I brew my coffee with ginger powder, cinnamon, and allspice, so it's got a spicy smell to it. It doesn't stain at all, most likely because it's already been brewed through. It gets everywhere, though. All it takes is a quick rinse to get it off the walls and stuff, so it's not as annoying as it could be.

Why coffee? Caffeine is said to help redistribute fat cells, reducing the appearance of cellulite. This may be obsolete, because I've already brewed it, but it makes my skin super soft anyway. Brewing it can't take aaaaaaall the caffeine out, can it? I use the yogurt because lactic acid dissolves - or something - dead skin cells. Plus, it makes the scrub much cheaper. :-)

So, that's all. I'm sending some out to friends. We'll see if they work as well for them as they have for me and Husband. Oh, er, if you want some, lemme know.

Today... Er... Yesterday

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 07:32:29 GMT

So, Husband and I ordered a mattress super cheap and, until last night, were sleeping on an air mattress. Needless to say, we were anxiously awaiting the real one. It arrived the day before yesterday, but we couldn't get it until yesterday. Husband works from five in the morning to anywhere from 3-8 PM. I had to make the decision to stay up, take him to work, get chores done, putz around until 4PM, then make two trips with my sister to get the darned thing to our place. And that's where the fun began.

My sister and I take great pride in our autonomy as far as needing help from manly men is concerned. We have moved many large items of furniture all on our own, thank you. If I weren't madly in love with my wonderful, perfect husband, any man in that life would simply be an interactive, sperm-squirting sex toy. Not that I have an opinion about it, or anything. But, I digress. Sister and I were bound and determined to get this thing into my bedroom. We live in a three-story townhouse. Two flights of stairs.

We get the box springs first. Yes, there were two. Apparently the warranty won't work if you only get one king-sized box spring, you have to get two twin (or full?) sized ones. Which makes sense... logistically. We knew the mattress itself would be the hardest, so we jump in head first. We get the thing in the door. (things are not looking up, we had to shove a bit just to accomplish that task) We unwrap it, get it to the stairs, take a deep breath, and begin the long, arduous mission of Operation: Pissing Contest Through Mattress Relocation. I assume the bitch spot, as it's my mattress. Sister pushes, and I attempt to coax it up the stairs. The ceilings are high everywhere except the first five steps of each staircase. There, they shrink to about five feet at the fifth step, then abruptly shoot up to about twelve feet. So, we get the mattress to the fifth step when all progress halts. Aubrey shoves while I pull... nothing. We communicate pretty well without speaking, so we understand that the mattress needs to be repostioned. She pulls and I push. We're still hopeful. It's getting up those damned stairs. So, we stick the bottom half of the mattress as far to one side as we can, hoping that a diagonal approach will change things. We get to the fifth step, and it wedges itself good and tight. She pushes, I pull, mattress moves a fraction of an inch. I lose it. I'm already giddy from lack of sleep, but when I start laughing, Sister starts to make odd noises, as the bulk of the mattress' weight is now her responsibility. I make several unsuccessful attempts at regaining composure, then suggest I push. Still cackling, I switch places with her. After 45 seconds of brute force, we decide that we should try working smarter. Sister grabs the top half of the mattress, I quickly catch on, and I shove the top half from my end. This maneuver not only persuaded the mattress to move a whopping five inches, it revealed the need to practically fold the thing in half to get it up the stairs. It takes about four minutes to get the entire mattress past the fifth step when FWONK! It pops right back up, and we practically run up the rest of the stairs. We fall into curly red heaps, huffing and giggling. Then, we do it again. After that first flight, it all simply depended on us finding the right angle again, and getting the stupid thing to its home before we collapse. Ahhhh. The sense of accomplishment. Then, I went to pick up my husband, and managed to avoid road-raging my way to an aneurysm before we got home. The bed is delightful, even though it's sitting directly on the floor. Baby steps. If only we had the canopy bed frame I want...

If I Haven't Talked About My Husband Enough...

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 07:02:06 GMT

I snagged this from a Livejournal friend, because I enjoyed reading hers.

1. Sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
Well, we don't have TV. I mean, we have three TVs, but no cable. If we did have it, he might have it on A&E, TNT, the news, or FOX if it was playing any new episodes of House, or any of the Law and Order shows.

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does s/he get on her/his salad?
Depends on his mood. Most of the time, he takes what comes on a specialty salad.

3. What's one food s/he doesn't like?
Anything bad for you. He didn't like chicken, or any kind of "whatever salad: tuna, chicken, potato, egg" simply because they weren't made well. He felt that chicken was tasteless diet food, and there was always too much mayonnaise in the "salads". I cook the shit out of some chicken, and I use yogurt or oil in salads. He's now a believer in my cooking.

4. You go out to the bar. What does s/he order?
Water. Maaaaaaaaybe a beer.

5. Where did s/he go to high school?
Durham Academy. We do not speak of it.

6. What size shoe does s/he wear?
I dunno. 10? 11? I wear a size 10.5 to 11 in womens, and his shoes are too big.

7. If s/he was to collect anything, what would it be?
Music, musical equipment... basically anything having to do with music.

8. What is her/his favorite type of sandwich?
Right now, it's the salmon melt I made him today. It had slices of green tomato on it. Mmmm, now I want one.

9. What would this person eat every day if s/he could?
Ice cream or almond butter with agave nectar. Or carob fudge.

10. What is her/his favourite cereal?
Depends on his mood. Anything with lots of fiber and no sugar. Grapenuts. Yech!

11. What would s/he never wear?
Sandals without socks. He never goes without socks. Ever. Ever.

12. What is her/his favourite sports team?
I'm pretty sure he doesn't have one. It's wonderful. I think people who get all into a sport are odd. In an unpleasant way. Especially the ones whose days are ruined if their team loses. It's just... pathetic, really.

13. Who will s/he vote for?
I doubt he'll vote. His parents want us to vote for Obama. He's happy Biden got a nod, but politics are not high on his priority list. Saving lives will do that, I suppose.

14. Who is her/his best friend?
He's so cute. I am. He says it a lot.

15. What is something you do that s/he wishes you wouldn't do?
Tell him all the things I wish he wouldn't do. :-)

16. How many states has s/he lived in?
Three. Plus Japan.

17. What is her/his heritage?
Black, white, a bit of Native American. He has very little hair, even on his face. The Navy recquires that he be clean shaven, and he shaves every other day.

18. You bake her/him a cake for her/his birthday; what kind of cake?
Maybe a peanut butter cake with chocolate frosting.

19. Did s/he play sports in high school?
Track. He's a runner, through and through. He set a couple of records that still hold.

20. What could s/he spend hours doing?
Playing his gee-tar. Seriously. He loses time when he's up there in his studio. Gives me time to be a dude, and play my video games.

I'd love to hear about everyone else or their significant other. If you don't want to put it in your journal, feel free to put it in a comment!

I May Be On To Something...

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 12:58:37 GMT

I made a face wash that just might be what I've been looking for. So far: Fine lines around my eyes are visibly finer after one wash; all of my pores, even the stubborn ones on the tip of my nose, are clean; and my skin is the softest I can remember. Hmm.

Well, here's what I did. I made an extremely strong tea with mostly dried chamomile, a few stalks of dried spearmint, and about five dried hibiscus flowers. I boiled the chamomile for about three minutes, added the spearmint, then turned off the heat. I poured the as yet unfinished tea through a colander over the hibiscus flowers in a bowl. Then, after about five minutes, I poured this tea through a cheesecloth. After it had cooled I mixed:

~1 Tbs tea
~1 Tbs plain yogurt
~1 Tbs honey
~2 heaping tsp garbanzo flour
~1 capsule vitamin E oil

I read up on hibiscus, and found that it promotes healing of the skin and is a natural emollient. We all know what chamomile and Vitamin E oil does. Wow. I looked up what spearmint does topically after I made the stuff, and it helps pores expel "unwanted substances" (dirt), as well as tightens the skin, reducing appearance of wrinkles. Interesting. Honey is amazing for the skin. It's an antiseptic, so it cleanses without stripping. Yogurt is a good moisturizer for the skin without being greasy. Finally, the garbanzo flour is a very mild exfoliant. I put one tablespoon of tea in each of the compartments of an ice cube tray, and threw it in the freezer. (I drank the leftovers :-)) The only annoying part about it was trying to get all the flour rinsed off. Other than that, it's wonderful.

It's Already a Good Day...

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 17:03:31 GMT

I found carob powder! Wooooohoo! I know this probably means nothing to you, but I have been looking for the stupid stuff everywhere, and finally found it. Now, I can have carocolate. No more headaches. :-) I also found packages of shiitakes at the Asian market for $2. Yup. That's right. Two dollars.

Because I'm BORED!!

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 05:51:58 GMT

Your result for The Ultimate Kink Test!...

Professor Kink!

A True Student of the Kink!

You scored 0 kink points you naughty, naughty kinkster you! Not yet a master... you know more than enough to teach the average joe/jane a thing or two! You are willing to do many things and have many things done to you... that's good... very good, your partner is lucky. Your going to have one hell of a sex life! This is the third highest category and with just a little more experience and willingness, you will master the art of the kink (and move into the second highest category)!

Take The Ultimate Kink Test! at HelloQuizzy