Today, the insoles in my shoes finally wore through and gave me a huge blister, forcing me to walk a mile in just socks. That, however, is the only negative thing I have to say, lately. My ex and I are getting along better than when we were married, my sister and I have made great strides in our relationship, my mom finally left my dad, my boyfriend is amazing, and I'm finally making steps toward selling my products online. I made a lime-ginger salt scrub with coconut oil, as well as a witch hazel toner with lime juice and lavender oil. They both work beautifully. I'm just waiting to see how long they keep. I'm working on a grapefruit scrub for my mom. She really loves that Fresh brand.

My husband and I never seriously considered having children. We both liked our own space too much. It came to a head when I realized that, if I had a boy, I wouldn't want Jeremy as a role model. He didn't get along with my friends, or sister. I didn't trust his parents not to be assholes again. What were we doing? I'm very glad we met, because we learned so very much from each other. If we'd stayed married, however, we'd have grown to hate each other. We were already headed down that path. And I didn't want to hate Jeremy. We have successfully parted ways after living together while legally separated for five months. We got along so well, and really bonded as friends. That made the transition to living alone much easier for both of us. We got gorgeous tattoos of phoenixes, representing being born anew and more beautiful from the ashes of our marriage.

My boyfriend, Mathew, and I have been friends for a year and a half, and dating for about five months. Already, he's proven himself to be steady, patient, kind, and strong, yet so gentle. He makes my heart sing.

I know there are so many more details I've left out. I've been away for four years. But, that is my nature. I am quietest when I'm suffering most. I think it's because I don't want to burden people with my sorrow. I was dying a little every day because of my marriage. I was in denial for so long. I am so happy to be free again, no longer in waiting for whatever was around the corner. Now, I say what's around the corner. I walk in the direction I please. And I am dating someone who, if I had a boy, I would want Mathew to be his role model.

Hellooooooo There

I know, I know. "Who the heck are you, crazy lady who dropped off the face of the planet for FOUR years?!" Well, I'm not sure why I stopped livejournaling. I am back, though. My husband and I are no longer together. It was an amicable split, and he's supporting me for one year so I can establish a new career. I am dating someone of the awesome persuasion. He's got curly red hair, and everyone thinks we're incestuous lovers. Which amuses me. My sister had a baby who is turning 3 in July. His name is Oliver, and he is the most wonderful nephew on the face of the planet!!! He's a redhead too. You should have seen when my mom came to visit. My sister, mom, nephew, boyfriend, and I all went out for dinner together. I'm sure it was a little unnerving. We looked like a cult. Which also amuses me. I moved back to the state I love most: North Carolina. The job pickins are slim, but I'm studying for my massage board and license. Woohoo!

So that's that. How have you guys been? Happy, I hope. Growing into better people, loving freely. And all that.

Breaking the Silence

Well, it started with my computer getting a crazy wonky virus that spoke in a British accent. This kept me off the computer for a few weeks, but once it was fixed, I really had no desire to deal with the built-up madness in my mailboxes. My sister has moved out! (insert leaping and whooping and other ridiculous acts depicting joyous victory) I love her dearly, but she is absolutely impossible to live with, and I am still attempting to rid her old room of the funk.

Quite a few things have happened while I was enjoying my silence. I discovered some new favorite bands, rediscovered some old favorite bands, and bought a few new albums.

New Bands:
~Echo and the Bunnymen
~Love and Rockets
~Paradise Lost
~The Chameleons
~The Creatures
~The Cult
~Dalis Car
~Fireball Ministry
~The Jesus and Mary Chain

New Albums:
~Depeche Mode
~Tori Amos
~Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Love each and every one of them. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs have calmed down quite a bit (in a good way, not a boring one), Depeche Mode has combined everything they've ever done and made it orgasmically better, and Tori's new album is nothing short of miraculous. She's on tour, and I'm going to see FOUR shows!!!!! For those of you thinking that four shows is fanatical overkill... you're a little right, but unlike the pathetically limited, generic, people-pleasing posers infesting the musical industry, Tori never does anything the same way twice. She has a few songs she will do at each show, but that's it. She also covers new songs at each show (often upon request), and will even make up a song right there on the stage. So, yeah, driving a total of 34+ hours over the span of 5 days, staying in a new state every night, and waiting four hours before each show on the off chance that she comes out to greet us is so totally worth it. Plus, while we haven't gotten our tickets for Atlanta yet, every single show will be enjoyed from the 6th row or better!

On a much more serious note, I have been doing some intense soul-searching, and discovered quite a few things about myself, what I believe, and what I will never even begin to understand:

~I sick and tired of people's knee-jerk reactions to subjects/ideas/religions of which they know little or nothing, and are perfectly comfortable with forming permanent conclusions with the fragmented information they have received second-hand.

~I am blown away at the behavior of Christians all throughout history. If one were to read the Bible, which I am currently attempting to do, they would see that it is not meant to be taken literally. For example: The Pharisees. They lived by the law, literally, and Jesus told them they were sticks in the mud.

~I'd like to set something straight on Christianity. The whole male-domination thing is not ordained by God. The verse in which God punishes Eve for eating the fruity knowledge, if taken the way I'm convinced it was meant to be taken, does not mean that a woman's husband will consciously rule over her. Basically, it goes something like, "Blah, blah, painful childbirth, more blah, and your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you." Now, if God wanted men to dominate their wives, He would have told them to, but He didn't. He told Eve specifically that her husband would rule over her. It means that she will need him, be dependent upon him, and he will rule over her mind. This explains why so many women are such idiots when it comes to men. It explains why they will completely abandon childhood friends for men who treat them like crap. It explains why they are unwilling to leave toxic relationships that they complain about all the time, and seem utterly miserable in.

That's not all, folks, but it's all for now.

A Large Factor In America's Problem


People spend years focusing on one thing at the expense of everything else. Including, and especially, common sense. Then, they get their wonderful, money-grubbing job, and throw everything into it, so they can be rich and respected by their fellow educated idiots. They go to work, focus for eight plus hours, interrupted only by the need to eat or use the restroom. At the end of the day, as soon as they walk out that door, they check out. They drive like imbeciles, completely neglect their personal lives, explode at defenseless waitstaff in expensive restaurants, and operate totally and completely in a state of reaction, never thinking before acting. And they think they spent all those years and money getting smarter? No! They just specialized. If they were hunting cats, it would be as if they grew their claws to such an enormous degree and lost the ability to run.

Obviously, there are exceptions to every rule. My husband, an amazing individual, does check out after work. However, unless he is extremely rest broken, he operates at an elevated level of consciousness. He thinks on a regular basis, in fact, and I love him dearly. I do know for a fact, though, that someone like Jeremy is precious and very rare. I wish folks would place education into a better perspective, and stop putting so much damned emphasis on it.

A Friend of Mine Wrote This

It's good for a laugh, even if you aren't privy to the inside jokes.

The night before Christmas: Sasebo version

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ‘Bo
Not a creature was stirring, no even a ho’.
The guitars were strung in Rogiq with care
In hopes that “The Materials” soon would be there

The Essex were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of snack-bar girls danced in their heads
And Mamma-San fried her gyozo for sailors in caps
Whilst Betsy in Gramophones settled down for a nap

When out in the arcade there arose such a clatter
I stumbled up from my seat to see what was the matter
Away from the bar I flew like a flash
Until I stuck to the floor where a drink has just smashed

The moon, on the breast of a woman I don’t know
Gave the lustre of the of the mid-day to the objects below
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a miniature Taka and eight Rogiq reindeer

With some really ugly sailors, not lively or bright
I knew in a moment they were to blame for the fight
More rapid than eagles, Shore Patrol, they came
And whistled and shouted, it was the “Three Wise Men”
to blame.

Now Jose! Now J.B! Now J.D and coke
All of them lethal when chased by a smoke
“To the top of the town, out went the call
For a brawl in the street and a piss against a wall.

And then in a twinkling I heard on the stage
The prancing a strutting of a gay-pride parade
As I drew in my head and was turning around
Jacksea jumped off the bar with a leap and a bound

He was dressed all in brown fur from his head to his feet
And his hair was all wild like it’d never been neat
A fender guitar he’d flung on his back
He looked like a rock-god but minus the addiction to smack

And Ryo was smiling, a right jolly old elf
I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself
Taka’s wink of an eye and flick of his hair
Soon gave me to know there was no Nagasausage down there!

Naoki spoke not a word but went straight to his work
And mixed his friends drinks so strong it’d cause them to jerk
And laying his finger on the camera button
He took another picture of some lamb dressed as mutton

The Materials sprang to their stage to finish their music
And Gela spent all her money, before she could lose it
But I heard her exclaim to Nao-chan and Gill
“I could do better, and next time I will”.

'Cause I'm Bored...

Some of my favorite artists. They never make vidoes for my favorite songs, so I've settled for these...

Tori Amos, Jackie's Strength:

Sublime, Badfish (I could never pick my favorite song):

Concrete Blonde, Joey:

Type O Negative, Love You To Death (and no, that's not an optical illusion, he really is that tall):

Switchblade Symphony, Dissolve (ok, not a real music video, but it's my favorite song, and the pictures are actually pretty cool):

Danzig, Devil's Plaything (amazingly enough, this is my favorite song):

Portishead, Glory Box (not the real video, but the selfish punk who put the real one up won't let people embed the darned thing... this one's cute, interesting, and I could swear the person I bonded with over Dead Can Dance posted this video a while ago):

Morcheeba, Wonders Never Cease:

Interesting tidbit, New Order wrote this song, Blue Monday:

But, you've probably heard Orgy's cover of it:

Rasputina, Rats (they actually played it on TV?!):

The Gathering, Leaves (I am in absolute awe of this woman):

Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Date With the Night (the only music video they'd let me embed... selfish punks):

Poe, Angry Johnny:

Cocteau Twins, Ivo:

What, were you expecting more?

People Age Like Wine?

I feel like a bystander in my own life. I'm watching as I become a parody of myself, and like the proverbial wreck, I'm unable to look away, slow down, or change direction. My mom used to (and continues at a steadily increasing rate) say, "It's always feast or famine with you." Now, writing my second post in a 24 hour period, I have to admit that she was actually right... about a lot of things. So, if I were a wine, and if this trait were a juniper berry, I would now be gin.

My Box

One of my livejournal friends posted this, and I loved it. So here's mine...

So, say you were meeting a new person--blind date, new friend, who knows. And you wanted them to have some idea of what kind of person you are, and who you are. But you can't actually tell them in so many words.

Instead, you have to give them a box, with a dozen things in it for them to look at/read/listen to/taste/whatever. What would you put in the box?

~A pair of striped toe socks
~The entire contents of my iPod on as many discs as it would take
~A lock of my curly red hair
~A bag of coffee with my special blend of spices mixed in (cinnamon, cardamom, clove, and orange peel)
~A dish of Sag Aloo curry with coconut naan and real chai
~My tattered copy of The Female Brain
~Copies of the Bible, The Ark of Millions of Years, The History of Magic, and The Necronomicon
~My four-year-old-and-counting pair of Uggs:

~My whip
~My staple spaghetti strap tank tops with built-in shelf bra
~A zip-up hoodie with pockets--they have to have pockets
~A picture of my husband

For those of you wondering, yes, pun intended.

Forgive Me, But...

I know the internet is ridiculous as far as the time spent on spelling and the formulation of sentences and such, but this blew my mind.

okay werid questoion:
I get darry cravings, majorly. In particular milk. I drink a ton of it as a result. I usualy =drink two precrent but sometimes whole. I always find whole milk more satisfiy but didn't put 2 and 2 together till just now

i bought unhomogizined milk.

I shake it but naturaly there are stil clumps, it dosn't phase me. I drink i had acup with a particualrly large chunk i ate the cunk and my body was like "THIS is what we want."

so i ask is there something spesificly in milk fat that isn't in skim? is that where the vitimins are?

also, why does unhomgnized milk taste better?

The end.